Remy Porter

Remy is a veteran developer who provides software for architectural installations with IonTank.

He's often on stage, doing improv comedy, but insists that he isn't doing comedy- it's deadly serious. You're laughing at him, not with him. That, by the way, is usually true- you're laughing at him, not with him.

A Revolutionary Vocabulary

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Changing the course of a large company is much like steering the Titanic: it's probably too late, it's going to end in tears, and for some reason there's going to be a spirited debate about the bouyancy and stability of the doors.

Shena works at Initech, which is already a gigantic, creaking organization on the verge of toppling over. Management recognizes the problems, and knows something must be done. They are not, however, particularly clear about what that something should actually be, so they handed the Project Management Office a budget, told them to bring in some consultants, and do something.


Is It the Same?

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A common source of bad code is when you have a developer who understands one thing very well, but is forced- either through organizational changes or the tides of history- to adapt to a new tool which they don’t understand. But a possibly more severe problem is modern developers not fully understanding why certain choices may have been made. Today’s code isn’t a WTF, it’s actually very smart.

Eric P was digging through some antique Fortran code, just exploring some retrocomputing history, and found a block which needed to check if two values were the same.


A Private Matter

by in CodeSOD on

Tim Cooper was digging through the code for a trip-planning application. This particular application can plan a trip across multiple modes of transportation, from public transit to private modes, like rentable scooters or bike-shares.

This need to discuss private modes of transportation can lead to some… interesting code.


Your Personal Truth

by in CodeSOD on

There are still some environments where C may not have easy access to a stdbool header file. That's easy to fix, of course. The basic pattern is to typedef an integer type as a boolean type, and then define some symbols for true and false. It's a pretty standard pattern, three lines of code, and unless you insist that FILE_NOT_FOUND is a boolean value, it's pretty hard to mess up.

Julien H was compiling some third-party C code, specifically in Visual Studio 2010, and as it turns out, VS2010 doesn't support C99, and thus doesn't have a stdbool. But, as stated, it's an easy pattern to implement, so the third party library went and implemented it:


ABCD

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As is fairly typical in our industry, Sebastian found himself working as a sub-contractor to a sub-contractor to a contractor to a big company. In this case, it was IniDrug, a pharmaceutical company.

Sebastian was building software that would be used at various steps in the process of manufacturing, which meant he needed to spend a fair bit of time in clean rooms, and on air-gapped networks, to prevent trade secrets from leaking out.


locurlicenseucesss

by in CodeSOD on

The past few weeks, I’ve been writing software for a recording device. This is good, because when I’m frustrated by the bugs I put in the code and I start cursing at it, it’s not venting, it’s testing.

There are all sorts of other little things we can do to vent. Imagine, if you will, you find yourself writing an if with an empty body, but an else clause that does work. You’d probably be upset at yourself. You might be stunned. You might be so tired it feels like a good idea at the time. You might be deep in the throes of “just. work. goddammit”. Regardless of the source of that strain, you need to let it out somewhere.


The Data Class

by in CodeSOD on

There has been a glut of date-related code in the inbox lately, so it’s always a treat where TRWTF isn’t how they fail to handle dates, and instead, something else. For example, imagine you’re browsing a PHP codebase and see something like:

$fmtedDate = data::now();

Classic WTF: Pointless Revenge

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As we enjoy some summer weather, we should take a moment to reflect on how we communicate with our peers. We should always do it with kindness, even when we really want revenge. Original -- Kind regards, Remy

We write a lot about unhealthy workplaces. We, and many of our readers, have worked in such places. We know what it means to lose our gruntle (becoming disgruntled). Some of us, have even been tempted to do something vengeful or petty to “get back” at the hostile environment.

Milton from 'Office Space' does not receive any cake during the a birthday celebration. He looks on, forlornly, while everyone else in the office enjoys cake.


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